Chronic = long lasting
Fatigue = parts of my body feel as if they are made of lead after a tiny amount of use
Pain = feeling as if someone is stabbing me, squeezing parts of me too tightly, burning parts of me, feeling as if I have pulled all of my muscles, sharp pains in my back and neck and what feels like rocks around my shoulders and upper back
With all of the above, and more, going on medically, the last thing I want to spend any of my little energy on is controlling anyone.
I have been in controlling relationships and was brought up by controlling parents. I know what it is like to live with that. Yes, I do think things need to be done like putting clothes away, having a tidy and clean house so we can all get around it, keeping the kitchen clean so we don't all get ill, but I don't consider that as controlling. Just housework.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe expecting that the house should be kept in a state where everyone in it can move around freely and get to things in their respective rooms, without anything in the house causing illness is me being controlling.
Meeting up with friends for a chat and to watch films/listen to music/ have lunch, at times they came up with and suggested seems normal to me. Coming to an agreed day and time to meet a friend for a chat or to meet somewhere seems normal to me. I don't see any of that as controlling either.
Lately I am being put down by people who don't even know me and it is getting to me. Why are these people nice to my face and then say these things behind my back? Why are people nice and then switch to having this perception that i am controlling and evil?
I am lucky that one of my best friends tells me anything that has been said about me, so I know the truth behind the glares or false niceties, but it still feels awful.
I really try not to be controlling, even with my own children.
We are the first family to have to cancel plans last minute, change dates or times because one child is too anxious to go out, has had a meltdown, is unwell or just can't get there. Changing plans is no problem. We completely understand.
If you decide you would like to suggest a regular pattern for meeting up with me and the family, and that pattern works for us, then great. If changes need to be made to that, also great. No problem.
I suppose the point of this post is to encourage people not to make snap judgements on people you don't know.
Atleast have the decency to try and get to know people before you decide you hate them and passing those opinions around as fact.
Treat people as you would want them to treat you.
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