Journey #1 was underway but hitting obstacle after obstacle when it became clear that G also needed support, but in a very different way to J.
G had a trauma in her young life which brought many of her difficulties to light and also led me to engage with all the support services going in the local area, and then again when we moved to a new area.
Unlike with J, G's difficulties are easier to see from the outside and more 'typical' of autism in girls.
G went to two primary schools, having to move abruptly following her young trauma and finding it incredibly difficult to change to the second school she needed 1:1 support immediately and her teacher realised this without me having to say anything which was refreshing.
However, it was so distressing to ave to drag her into school everyday we made the decision to stop putting her through it and deregistered her. She is now home educated too. If I had known that home education was a legal and valid alternative way to educate your children I would have never sent any of them to school. School can be brilliant for some children, can be the making of them, but for others who are bullied, slip through the net, learn differently or are extremely anxious it is a living nightmare.
I took G to see our local GP with a diary of my concerns and asked for a referral to CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services). The referral bounced back so I referred her again myself after finding a copy of the referral form online. I decided to bombard them with paperwork and evidence so they gave her an initial appointment. Ironically it came through as two days after J's initial appointment after all the fighting and arguing (they call this advocating for your child but it feels more like going 10 rounds with Anthony Joshua).
The mental health nurse said we would have a long wait to be seen, but I knew that already.
In the meantime it was becoming more apparent that A was also displaying symptoms and difficulties similar to J, so journey #3 was about to begin.
I didn't know which way was up anymore. I decided I needed to try and help one child at a time.
Whilst J was waiting for CAMHS to see him after his diagnosis I took G to see a private occupational therapist for a sensory assessment. They picked up on a multitude of issues I had never even considered, but which instantly made sense.
With the sensory processing difficulties G was coping with fresh in my mind I started to think about J, so booked him in for a private occupational therapy assessment too.
Meanwhile G had an appointment through with CAMHS thanks to a new ruling which was designed to cut waiting times. She was assessed in a tiny white windowless room, in a long corridor reminiscent of a ferry. There were two women she had never met before, a table, and a chair for her. I wasn't meant to stay but there was no way I could leave her. She curled up in a ball on the chair and shut down entirely.
She was diagnosed following the assessment with high functioning autism (they don't call it Asperger's anymore), anxiety and selective mutism with signs of post traumatic stress disorder.
The NHS occupational therapist saw her and discharged her after one appointment because they can't do a sensory needs assessment.
The NHS speech and language therapists saw her and discharged her after one appointment because she can physically produce the sounds for speech.
There is no help for her. No support to help her through her problems. She self harms, has dark intrusive thoughts, struggles with depressive episodes and pain. She is only 9 years old.
The NHS could offer her six sessions of counselling but it would take her that long to be able to trust someone enough to speak to them. She has been through similar with Mind. They offered her sessions with a lady who promised her she could go back if she felt low again, but then the lady left. Services are not good enough and my heart breaks for her.
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